the worst week ever

Ok, well maybe the title is me exaggerating a wee-bit, but this week has honestly been the week from hell.
To put it lightly.

I'm trying to recall a time over the past few days where something didn't go wrong, but so far, nothing is turning up. I've been an emotional wreck every day. Calls to Adam have been out of control (I'm sure he's ready for a break from all the cries and rants too). I've been sad, then mad, then livid, then deeply depressed, then happy, then mad and back and forth, up and down and then I do it all all over again.

I had my doctor's appointment that didn't leave me with too high of hopes. Possible gestational diabetes?? I suppose a lot of women "get it" during a pregnancy, but I never thought it would be something I'd have to worry about. Crazy, dramatic, psycho, whatever it may be, I've been balling just about every time I think about this. I'll go in this next week for additional testing. I'm confident (errr, maybe..) that everything will be ok. We'll find out soon enough. I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the new information I've receiving this pregnancy. Umbilical hernia. Braxton hicks. Diabetes. I never had to think twice about any of these things when pregnant with Tan and Troy. This baby girl sure is bringing the heat this round!

Tanner had his talent show at school and I was so excited to watch him perform his harmonica in front of the class! I took Troy with me, camera ready and got a seat right in the front row. Troy was terrible. Crying and screaming when everyone would start clapping for the kids who just performed. I could feel my stress and frustration rising by the second. Then, Tanner's turn came and he froze. Then got goofy when his friends started laughing and then pretty much just messed around. I was trying to be sympathetic and understand. All my school days, from preschool clear up until senior year (probably now too if I was forced to get in front of a crowd) I would get the worst case of stage fright. Tears, panic attacks, the works. So, yes, I understand the scary, shy, embarrassed felling of having to speak/perform in front of a crowd. I just wish he would have done a little more for his act... and not got goofy.

I've also been struggling with the attitudes pouring out of my 5 and 2 year old. They are both little stinkers. Troy is going through this hitting and spitting stage and because of his stubbornness, it's been quite the battle to break the habit. Tanner is incredibly mouthy and is practically 5 going on 15... or something like that.

Today Tanner and I were so excited to be invited to and attending a birthday party for a boy at his school. I was greatly disappointed. I hate bullying. It honestly breaks my heart, like a death in the family, to witness/hear of a child being bullied. Especially when it's my child. Tanner was completely ignored by "the birthday boy" and the other kids at the party were so unbelievably disrespectful that it was miserable to be there. We got out of there as fast as we could... which sadly, was not nearly soon enough. I'm still so sad about how Tanner was treated at the birthday party that writing this now, damn near breaks my heart. Thank goodness he didn't notice anything and was completely blind to the way these boys acted towards him, which I suppose in some part breaks my heart even more. He's so sweet. Yes, he's mouthy and drives me crazy most days, but he's so innocent. And loving. And he wants nothing more than to have friends and lots of them.

So, now that I am depressed and in tears all over again, I suppose I need to probably watch something funny on tv to perk me up a bit. I guess everything I've wrote probably doesn't justify the title "the worst week ever", but trust me, for me, it was. I'm very glad this day is over. And I'm so glad this week is over! I can't wait to see what this next week will bring :)